Have you ever found yourself tired, frustrated and angry most of the time when it comes to your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing you knew just how to make your relationship work? Most women find themselves in relationships with men that are not just what they wanted. They find themselves trapped and wishing they could just leave it all behind because it’s just not worth it anymore. If you’re reading this page, chances are you’re also going through a tough time in your relationship right now. You’re probably looking for a guide to turning your relationship from a wreck to a successful one. Well, I have good news for you.
Rori Raye’s Have The Relationship You Want is what you need. It is a guidebook designed for women who are eager to turn their relationships into long lasting ones practically overnight. I have read a lot of books dealing with such issues regarding relationships but I have to say that Have The Relationship You Want is what really stuck to me. Rori Raye has written her book in such a way that it does not only serve as a textbook but can also be used as an exercise book or a journal.
Click here to visit Rori Raye’s Have The Relationship You Want
Pros: This is an easy step by step guide into transforming your relationship practically overnight. It not only serves as a guidebook but also as an exercise book and even as a journal.
Cons: You will need to truly commit yourself to the program in order to really get the best out of it.
Inside Have The Relationship You Want
There are 5 main keys that are discussed in this book. These 5 keys are:
Key #1: Choose Relationship
Key #2: Choose to be the Thinking, Action-Oriented, Decision-Making, Giving, Masculine Energy Partner in Your Relationship, Or The Feeling, Expressing, Sensual, Receiving, Feminine Energy Partner
Key #3: Support the team.
Key #4: Respect the masculine.
Key #5: Express the feminine.
The 25 chapters in Have The Relationship You Want are divided and placed under the introduction and the key point that they belong to. Below is my chapter by chapter review of Have The Relationship You Want.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 1:
Ground Rules
In this chapter Rori Raye lays the ground rules for her book which readers must know about before proceeding. In it, she basically talks about what the book is and isn’t about. It’s about letting go and putting a stop to you trying to control your man. It’s not about finding more tricky ways to get him to behave the way you want to. It’s not about manipulating him. It’s about what you have to do to (and ultimately what you have to change in your behavior) in order to save your relationship.
This chapter provides an exercise which will help you imagine what it’s like to hold on to your partner and then to let go of him. There are also follow up questions which makes this book not only a great guidebook but it can also be your personal journal.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 2:
The 5 Keys
The 5 Keys to a successful relationship according to Rori Raye are as follows:
Key #1: Choose Relationship
Key #2: Choose to either be the Receiving/Masculine partner or the Giving/Feminine one.
Key #3: Support the team.
Key #4: Respect the masculine.
Key #5: Express the feminine.
She goes into detail explaining these keys further in the chapters that follow starting from Chapter 8 onwards.
At the end of this chapter of Have The Relationship You Want, Rori Raye wants you to ask yourself this question: “What do I want?” as a starting point in your journey to transforming your relationship.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 3:
There’s More To You Than You Know
This chapter basically deals with how to reclaim yourself. In it, Rori Raye explains how you should reach out inside of you and get in touch with who you really are because in this way, you can bring out all the hidden pain and anger in order to be able to let go of it. The more you dig deeper inside of you, the more you know about yourself.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 4:
Figuring It Out
In here, Rori Raye continues with her own experiences with bad relationships and how she struggled to make them work. In this chapter, she mentions that what she really needed more than anything during those hard times was a How-To guide and a mentor to guide her. She found those in magazines that she’d read dealing with the issues about relationships she was facing. Rori Raye makes an important revelation as she says that relationships don’t really need “work” to make it successful. All you need is a guide, a mentor and someone to work with.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 5:
What Do I Want?
Many people feel that they don’t deserve what they want. As a result, a lot of us tend to squelch all those desires. Instead, we end up tolerating what we have right now even though we know we deserve better. In this chapter of Have The Relationship You Want, Rori Raye will help you determine what it is that you really want with the help of an exercise where you have to picture out your ideal relationship.
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Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 6:
Four Changes To Relationship Bliss
Here you will come across the Rori Raye’s mantra:
Trust your Boundaries
Follow Your Feelings
Choose your Words
Be Surprised
She then goes into detail regarding the said mantra. As you progress in the program and start working on the 5 Keys to changing your relationship, it is best that you keep this mantra in mind.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 7:
Through The Woods
Here you will be asked to let go of your old beliefs regarding men. Although men are usually thought of as the ones who are afraid to commit to a relationship, Rori Raye states that it is actually women who are afraid to go further. Men know what they want and when they find it, they go for it and stay loyal to it. Women on the other hand will think everything through not just base their commitment on the deep connection that they feel with men.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 8:
Key #1: Choose Relationship
This chapter deals with the first key to having the relationship that you want. It tackles the issue of whether you really want to commit to a relationship or not. It is divided into two sections. First section is for those who are married or are in a relationship and the second one is for those who want to be married. To summarize, this chapter will help you determine whether you are in your relationship for the long haul or not because in order for it to work you can’t have just half of your heart involved. The chapter ends with the question: “What do I want?” which is the first question that you need to tackle.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 9:
Key #2: Choose To Be The Thinking, Action-Oriented, Decision-Making, Giving, Masculine Energy Partner In Your Relationship, Or The Feeling, Expressing, Sensual, Receiving, Feminine Energy Partner
This chapter introduces you to two of the roles that are available in a relationship: the masculine role and the feminine one. You have to choose which role you want to take on. You can choose to be the one who wears the pants in the relationship or choose to be the more feminine one.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 10:
Key #3: Support The Team
In order for a relationship to work, both you and your partner have to work as a team. A relationship is a team with 3 members: you, your partner and the relationship. The main point in this key is knowing the kind of person your partner is because that will help create the dynamic between you and your man that will enable your relationship to grow and be balanced.
As stated in Have The Relationship You Want: “It’s about each person rooting for the other. It’s about complementary energies creating romantic and sexual fire and emotional intimacy.”
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 11:
Say Goodbye To The Old Negatives
This is first chapter that falls under Key #4: Respect The Masculine. Most women tend to focus their energies discussing and being frustrated with the negative qualities of men. I’ve done it. I’ve become so enraged with how men seem to be insensitive to my needs. But here, Rori Raye reminds us that instead of wasting our energies on such negative qualities, we should turn our attention towards their good traits. Learning to let go of the old beliefs you have about men and instead learning how to concentrate on their good traits is what this chapter is about.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 12:
Recapturing Appreciation
This chapter provides you with even more exercises to help you remember and recapture all the good qualities in your partner. This chapter aims in helping you awaken your interest and affection for him again.
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Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 13:
Stop What Isn’t Working
In this part of Have The Relationship You Want, Rori Raye mentions the four rules for respecting the masculine partner.
Rule #1: Don’t try to control your partner.
Rule #2: Don’t try to control the outcome.
Rule #3: Stop yourself before you criticize, judge, advice, warn, coax, ask the “innocent question”, or try to change him.
Rule #4: Learn to take No for an answer.
Some women find this part really hard to do and some even completely refuse to do it even though this is one of the most important things you can do to save your relationship and turn it around in an instant.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 14:
Listening At Levels 1 & 2
The two different levels of listening is something that Rori Raye learned at a coaching seminar. These 2 different levels of listening are also keys to respecting the masculine. Women like to be listened to by their men and most often tend to do the same thing when it comes to their partners. This is why you need to know these two kinds of levels of listening. This chapter comes with a great exercise for practicing these different listening levels. This chapter ends the points on Key #4: Respecting the masculine.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 15:
What Is Feminine Energy?
This is the first chapter that deals with last and final key to a successful relationship, Key #5: Expressing The Feminine.
This chapter basically introduces you to what exactly is feminine energy and then asks you to answer the question: “What do you like about being a woman?” This chapter encourages you to “choose to love yourself simply because you are a woman.”
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 16:
What Do I Feel?
Females are the ones who are really in touch with their feelings. Women are the more sensitive kind and however, most often you cannot put those feelings into words. This chapter guides you into learning how to put words into the feelings that you feel. Expressing the feminine is all about expressing your feelings. This chapter will also enlighten you on the difference between expressing what you feel and judging or attacking your man. This chapter will also guide you into learning how to say No.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 17:
Requesting And Negotiating
This chapter deals with the elements of negotiation that you must know before you start making any requests or negotiations.
For the feminine partner, these are the elements of negotiation:
- Timing
- Start with a feeling
- Listening
- Resolving
- Saying No
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 18:
Being A Girl
This chapter discusses what it truly is to be a girl or a woman. Even though it talks a lot about communicating with and respecting your partner, it does not mean that you have to become the meek, obedient woman from the 50s.
Being a girl means that you’re sure of yourself and you will not make compromises about how you are treated. Rori Raye says that if being masculine is about doing then being feminine is all about being.
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Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 19:
Overfunctioning
One sentence to describe this chapter would be: “Stop being some kind of Superwoman.” Many women feel the need to Rori Raye states that as women, you constantly feel the need to take care of your family members and your loved ones. But there is a difference between caring for them and trying to do everything for everyone. This is basically what chapter 19 is about. How to make sure you don’t overfunction.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 20:
Vulnerability
Rori Raye begins this chapter by indicating that this is where the really scary part starts. All the previous chapters dealt with how to let go and stop being in control. Once you manage to do that, you are going to feel vulnerable. This chapter will help you deal with being the feeling of being vulnerable. She provides a couple of exercises to help you do just that: Sensual Meditation and The Fantasy Lover.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 21:
Wellbeing
Staying healthy is very important for everyone. Once we are stressed out and burned out, we cannot function properly. We can’t be, can’t relax and we stop responding to the people around us especially our partners.
In this chapter, Rori Raye suggests that women should assemble a team of health practitioners around them. Aside from that, she also shares The Portable Sensual Meditation which you can practice at the end of the chapter.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 22:
The Rori Raye Mantra
Remember the mantra that was mentioned in the beginning of the book. If you were wondering what that mantra truly meant, this chapter goes into detail about that.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 23:
Translations – How To Choose Words
This chapter serves as a reference guide for the Rori Raye mantra and also for the requesting and negotiating part of Key #5. It contains a table of phrases, sentences and questions divided into two categories: Control Speak and Surrender Speak.
Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 24:
Processing
This chapter continues with further points on how important it is to share your feelings as a woman. Denying who you are and what you feel is just going to stop your progress. Once you share your feelings, you are given the opportunity to bond with the person you just shared your thoughts with.
In this chapter, Rori Raye lists down 14 points to consider that you can consider along the way.
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Have The Relationship You Want Review Chapter 25:
Fearlessness
This final chapter in Have The Relationship You Want deals with the fear that resides in women. This fear is what stops from believing that we are beautiful enough or deserving of the real happiness that we deserve. Again, Rori Raye offers an exercise at the end of the chapter that will let you know what it feels like to be fearless.
Have The Relationship You Want Review:
5 Keys To A Successful Relationship
Here is brief description and summary of the 5 Keys that Rori Raye mentions in her book.
Key #1: Choose Relationship
This first step is where Rori Raye asks you if you are 100% committed to the man you’re with just as he is. Are you ready to really commit to a relationship and give it all you’ve got? You have to first ask yourself this question and determine the answer before you even begin with the journey of changing your relationship. As stated in Have The Relationship You Want, committing to a relationship allows you to:
1. Activate the warrior in you
2. Step back and become the observer
At the end of the chapter, there are a couple of questions that will help you determine whether you still are committed to the relationship you’re in and whether the man you’re with is still worth it.
Key #2: Choose To Be The Thinking, Action-Oriented, Decision-Making, Giving, Masculine Energy Partner In Your Relationship, Or The Feeling, Expressing, Sensual, Receiving, Feminine Energy Partner
Key #2 deals with determining which role in the relationship you want to have. Have The Relationship You Want states that there are 2 different roles in a relationship: the masculine one and the feminine one. You have to decide which one you want to be. You can’t be both. It’s either you’re the one who wears the pants in the relationship or he does. As part of helping you decide which role you’d like to play, she asks you to do an exercise where you fantasize about the perfect kind of relationship you want. Again, this book is more like an exercise book where there’s a space for you to write down your answers.
Key #3: Support the team
For a relationship to work, you have to be able to support the team. A relationship has 3 team members: you, your man and the relationship. A key aspect in supporting the team is to know who your partner is so you can better understand him and be able to support the team.
Key #4: Respect the masculine.
Key #4 deals with allowing yourself to focus on the positive qualities of your man instead of talking about the negative aspects. It includes exercises that will help you determine what you still like about your man.
Rori Raye mentions four rules with regard to respecting the masculine and they are:
Rule #1: Don’t try to control your partner.
Rule #2: Don’t try to control the outcome.
Rule #3: Stop yourself before you criticize, judge, advice, warn, coax, ask the “innocent question”, or try to change him.
Rule #4: Learn to take No for an answer.
She also shares two different levels of listening that works for basically everyone including your partner. There is an exercise for it too so you can practice it. Have The Relationship You Want not only gives you tips on how to transform your relationship but also will turn you into a more open, patient and willing to listen kind of person. It helps you develop your whole being and not just one aspect of your life.
Key #5: Express the feminine
This last and final key mentioned in Have The Relationship You Want is all about being a woman and the energy that women possess innately. This key is divided into 11 chapters that all deal with the concept of feminine energy and issues regarding women and relationships and how you can use your being a woman to transform your relationship.
Click here to visit Rori Raye’s Have The Relationship You Want
Have The Relationship You Want Review:
Bonus
For only $19.97 ($22.97 for those who live outside the US), you can have your very own copy of Have The Relationship You Want. But that’s not all you’ll be getting when you purchase a copy of this book. You’ll also be getting:
• A one-month free “Interview Series”
This bonus CD includes interviews with Christian Carter and many other experts on various topics like self-esteem, building trust etc. All these bonuses are worth a total of $20.00 but you can have them for free.
If you’re still not convinced, Rori Raye also offers a free 7-day trial for the book.
Visit Rori Raye’s Have The Relationship You Want!
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